The shrub:
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are
we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and
our people, and neither do we."
Kerry:
"We will double our special forces to conduct terrorist
operations!"
I'd say they're both crooks.
Link to the press release (fourth paragraph from the bottom).
[ published on Mon 09.08.2004 00:47
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...meint zumindest die deutsche Rechtsprechung. Ich bin sicher die
Österreichische variante ist genauso hirnrissig und verkneif mir
das 'saupreussen, gsöchte!'...
"Der Wertsack ist ein Beutel, der auf Grund seiner
besonderen Verwendung im Postbeförderungsdienst nicht Wertbeutel,
sondern Wertsack genannt wird, weil sein Inhalt aus mehreren
Wertbeuteln besteht, die in dem Wertsack nicht verbeutelt, sondern
versackt werden."
Link zu mehr Details
[ published on Mon 21.06.2004 14:32
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"Five days after arguing that the Eolas browser plug-in
patent should be invalidated as obvious, Microsoft pocketed a patent
of its own for 'Computer programming language pronouns', which covers
the use of ellipses, blanks, and ditto marks as substitutes for names
in a computer programming language. Perhaps the USPTO was won over by
the patent's eloquent conclusion: 'Eliminating names is a substantial
benefit as programmers dislike creating names.'"
Link to this glorious patent
[ published on Mon 21.06.2004 14:27
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interests/humour
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The answer is SEVEN:
One to deny that a lightbulb needs to be replaced.
One to attack and question the patriotism of
anyone who asks questions about the lightbulb.
One to blame the previous administration for the
need of a new lightbulb.
One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored
to have a secret stockpile of lightbulbs.
One to get together with Vice President Cheney and
award a one million dollar no-bid contract to
Halliburton Industries for supplying a lightbulb.
One to arrange a photo-op session showing Dubya
changing the lightbulb while dressed in a flight suit
and wrapped in an American flag.
And finally one to explain to Dubya the difference
between screwing a lightbulb and screwing the country.
Source: monochrom bagasch
[ published on Mon 31.05.2004 22:43
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interests/humour
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The rest is german, cause that's the langugage this message pretends to use.
click here for the rest of the story...
[ published on Fri 30.04.2004 00:55
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interests/humour
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Austria's minister of the interior is a dimwit (and should stay in the
interior where he's less embarrassing): while visiting Iceland he said
in a press conference that Reykjavik has 400 surveillance cams
which could be monitored live on TV. His source: a TV documentary.
However, all he had seen was a Icelandic fiction film
named "Citizen Cam".
(The story made it on page 2 of Iceland's largest newspaper - but they
mixed up their pictures of the minister...by chance?)
[ published on Sun 21.03.2004 19:08
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interests/humour
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The Austrian Arbeiter Zeitung has been made available online. As this
piece of contemporary history rests in peace since 1989 you won't find much
current news in there.
Hold it. On reading a couple of sample pages I retract the last statement:
nothing notable has changed in the last 30 years. Politicians are still all
crooks. Bickering, idiocy and greed still rule.
Anyway, it was interesting to look
at my birthday's news.
Link to the archive
[ published on Sat 06.03.2004 13:53
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interests/humour
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]
This tool mixes
layout from one site with content from another. Hilarious effects ensue.
Update (Sun 08.02.2004 13:57):
hmm, slashdotted or what? It's gone. Bummer.
[ published on Fri 30.01.2004 23:33
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interests/humour
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MS's newest conquest: the hyperlink. This is so silly that I couldn't even
muster the annoyance to move this post into the anti-everything topical area.
"The most effective step that you can take to help protect
yourself from malicious hyperlinks is not to click them. Rather, type
the URL of your intended destination in the address bar yourself. By
manually typing the URL in the address bar, you can verify the
information that Internet Explorer uses to access the destination Web
site. To do so, type the URL in the Address bar, and then press ENTER."
No wonder their software behaves as if written by braindamaged lemurs
on crack: it is.
Link to this gem of sage advice
[ published on Fri 30.01.2004 23:53
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interests/humour
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]
IKEA is a fully immersive, 3D environmental adventure that
allows you to role-play the character of someone who gives a shit about
home furnishings. In traversing IKEA, you will experience a meticulously
detailed alternate reality filled with garish colors, clear-lacquered birch
veneer, and a host of NON-PLAYER CHARACTERS (NPCs) with the glazed looks
of the recently anesthetized.
Truly Lovely.
Link
[ published on Mon 26.01.2004 23:21
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interests/humour
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Am Anfang war das UML-Diagramm wüst und leer. Da sprach der Consultant: "Es
werde ein UseCase!" - und es ward ein UseCase und er sah das es gut war. Und
er trennte die Akteure von den UseCases und es war das Anforderungsdiagramm.
Dieses waren die ersten 2 Millionen Lewonzen. -- Boernout Schultz, 29.08.03
paßt sehr gut zum Fachbegriffe der Informatik lexikon.
[ published on Thu 22.01.2004 23:22
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interests/humour
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]
...as flem sees things:
not-king george
and his exploits.
[ published on Sat 17.01.2004 23:11
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interests/humour
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sorry guys, this silly poem is in german,
as is the Programmer's Erlkönig.
[ published on Sat 17.01.2004 22:36
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interests/humour
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]
...but Zen Tech Support
is. The
I Ching also can help to cope with
your subjects.
For further reading I recommend the
BOFH stories and
TCP Towers.
Of course bofh.* and asr are important
media, too.
One definitely should care for one's admin properly, or you'll discover the
truth the hard way:
Meddle not in the affairs of sysadmins,
for they are subtle and quick to LART.
Therefore: RTFM!
HTH && (HAND || FOAD)
[ published on Sat 17.01.2004 22:36
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Fortunately (for us BOFHs) many of the dumbest people on earth
auto-darwinate themselves, and the methods and results are
hilarious.
I won't talk about
Dilbert
and
userfriendly, they are must-sees
anyway..
This is a very good compilation of
computer
jokes.
There's the list of
toaster
makers^W^Wcomputer companies and the famous
methods of how to
shoot yourself in the foot, but see also other Unix methods.
Internet...On A Stick is cool!
Attrition has a nice picture gallery.
[ published on Sun 11.01.2004 23:33
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interests/humour
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]
As a discerning BOFH, you should never be without your
O'Re*lly...ahem, though.
Don't miss the
other series of O'Really designs.
[ published on Sun 11.01.2004 22:34
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interests/humour
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]
newer...
older...