The shrub:

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

Kerry:

"We will double our special forces to conduct terrorist operations!"

I'd say they're both crooks.

Link to the press release (fourth paragraph from the bottom).

[ published on Mon 09.08.2004 00:47 | filed in interests/humour | ]

...meint zumindest die deutsche Rechtsprechung. Ich bin sicher die Österreichische variante ist genauso hirnrissig und verkneif mir das 'saupreussen, gsöchte!'...

"Der Wertsack ist ein Beutel, der auf Grund seiner besonderen Verwendung im Postbeförderungsdienst nicht Wertbeutel, sondern Wertsack genannt wird, weil sein Inhalt aus mehreren Wertbeuteln besteht, die in dem Wertsack nicht verbeutelt, sondern versackt werden."


Link zu mehr Details

[ published on Mon 21.06.2004 14:32 | filed in interests/humour | ]
"Five days after arguing that the Eolas browser plug-in patent should be invalidated as obvious, Microsoft pocketed a patent of its own for 'Computer programming language pronouns', which covers the use of ellipses, blanks, and ditto marks as substitutes for names in a computer programming language. Perhaps the USPTO was won over by the patent's eloquent conclusion: 'Eliminating names is a substantial benefit as programmers dislike creating names.'"


Link to this glorious patent

[ published on Mon 21.06.2004 14:27 | filed in interests/humour | ]

The answer is SEVEN:

  • One to deny that a lightbulb needs to be replaced.

  • One to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who asks questions about the lightbulb.

  • One to blame the previous administration for the need of a new lightbulb.

  • One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of lightbulbs.

  • One to get together with Vice President Cheney and award a one million dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton Industries for supplying a lightbulb.

  • One to arrange a photo-op session showing Dubya changing the lightbulb while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag.

  • And finally one to explain to Dubya the difference between screwing a lightbulb and screwing the country.


Source: monochrom bagasch

[ published on Mon 31.05.2004 22:43 | filed in interests/humour | ]

The rest is german, cause that's the langugage this message pretends to use.
click here for the rest of the story...

[ published on Fri 30.04.2004 00:55 | filed in interests/humour | ]

Austria's minister of the interior is a dimwit (and should stay in the interior where he's less embarrassing): while visiting Iceland he said in a press conference that Reykjavik has 400 surveillance cams which could be monitored live on TV. His source: a TV documentary. However, all he had seen was a Icelandic fiction film named "Citizen Cam".

(The story made it on page 2 of Iceland's largest newspaper - but they mixed up their pictures of the minister...by chance?)

[ published on Sun 21.03.2004 19:08 | filed in interests/humour | ]

The Austrian Arbeiter Zeitung has been made available online. As this piece of contemporary history rests in peace since 1989 you won't find much current news in there.

Hold it. On reading a couple of sample pages I retract the last statement: nothing notable has changed in the last 30 years. Politicians are still all crooks. Bickering, idiocy and greed still rule.

Anyway, it was interesting to look at my birthday's news.
Link to the archive

[ published on Sat 06.03.2004 13:53 | filed in interests/humour | ]

This tool mixes layout from one site with content from another. Hilarious effects ensue.

Update (Sun 08.02.2004 13:57):

hmm, slashdotted or what? It's gone. Bummer.

[ published on Fri 30.01.2004 23:33 | filed in interests/humour | ]

MS's newest conquest: the hyperlink. This is so silly that I couldn't even muster the annoyance to move this post into the anti-everything topical area.

"The most effective step that you can take to help protect yourself from malicious hyperlinks is not to click them. Rather, type the URL of your intended destination in the address bar yourself. By manually typing the URL in the address bar, you can verify the information that Internet Explorer uses to access the destination Web site. To do so, type the URL in the Address bar, and then press ENTER."

No wonder their software behaves as if written by braindamaged lemurs on crack: it is.
Link to this gem of sage advice

[ published on Fri 30.01.2004 23:53 | filed in interests/humour | ]
IKEA is a fully immersive, 3D environmental adventure that allows you to role-play the character of someone who gives a shit about home furnishings. In traversing IKEA, you will experience a meticulously detailed alternate reality filled with garish colors, clear-lacquered birch veneer, and a host of NON-PLAYER CHARACTERS (NPCs) with the glazed looks of the recently anesthetized.

Truly Lovely.
Link

[ published on Mon 26.01.2004 23:21 | filed in interests/humour | ]
Am Anfang war das UML-Diagramm wüst und leer. Da sprach der Consultant: "Es werde ein UseCase!" - und es ward ein UseCase und er sah das es gut war. Und er trennte die Akteure von den UseCases und es war das Anforderungsdiagramm. Dieses waren die ersten 2 Millionen Lewonzen. -- Boernout Schultz, 29.08.03

paßt sehr gut zum Fachbegriffe der Informatik lexikon.

[ published on Thu 22.01.2004 23:22 | filed in interests/humour | ]

...as flem sees things: not-king george and his exploits.

[ published on Sat 17.01.2004 23:11 | filed in interests/humour | ]

sorry guys, this silly poem is in german, as is the Programmer's Erlkönig.

[ published on Sat 17.01.2004 22:36 | filed in interests/humour | ]

...but Zen Tech Support is. The I Ching also can help to cope with your subjects.

For further reading I recommend the BOFH stories and TCP Towers. Of course bofh.* and asr are important media, too.

One definitely should care for one's admin properly, or you'll discover the truth the hard way:

Meddle not in the affairs of sysadmins,
for they are subtle and quick to LART.

Therefore: RTFM!
HTH && (HAND || FOAD)

[ published on Sat 17.01.2004 22:36 | filed in interests/humour | ]

Fortunately (for us BOFHs) many of the dumbest people on earth auto-darwinate themselves, and the methods and results are hilarious.

I won't talk about Dilbert and userfriendly, they are must-sees anyway..

This is a very good compilation of computer jokes.

There's the list of toaster makers^W^Wcomputer companies and the famous methods of how to shoot yourself in the foot, but see also other Unix methods.

Internet...On A Stick is cool! Attrition has a nice picture gallery.

[ published on Sun 11.01.2004 23:33 | filed in interests/humour | ]

As a discerning BOFH, you should never be without your O'Re*lly...ahem, though.
Don't miss the other series of O'Really designs.

[ published on Sun 11.01.2004 22:34 | filed in interests/humour | ]

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